10 HIGH GEAR

OVEN PRODUCTIONS' SWEET HONEY IN THE ROCK

songs and prison songs of the Rock" on Flying Fish label and

OVEN PRODUCTIONS is rural South, through Gospel and the recently released "B'lieve I'll proud to present "Sweet Honey blues, to Black women Run on....See What the End's in the Rock" in concert 1 lovesongs and socio-political Gonna Be" on Redwood December at 8:30 p.m. in statements of today. The distincRecords. Together since 1974, Cuyahoga Community College tive texture and intensity of each "Sweet Honey's" concerts have (Metro Campus) Auditorium. This group of Black women voice allows the members to included such events as: The carry out solo responsibility; League of Women Voters' combine their talents as singers, when joined in a group National Convention. Black songwriters, and collectors of oral traditions in music to make statement, the result is unique, Awareness Week-University of a dynamic musical statement on powerful harmonic lines that make for refreshing Black music.

the Black American experience. Their repertoire runs an exciting span from children's game

"Sweet Honey" comes to Cleveland with two albums to their credit: "Sweet Honey in the

Michigan Women's Music Festival this past August. They have appeared extensively at home and abroad to a wide range of audiences.

Ticket prices for "Sweet Honey" are: $4 advance and $5 at the door the night of the concert. Children 12 and under and people 60 and over will be ad-

Cincinnati, Operation Push-mitted for $1.00. Facilities for Chicago, Smithsonian Concert of American Protest with Pete Seeger-Washington, DC. and they received standing ovations from the 8,000 women at the

handicapped people will be arranged and free child care will be provided with one week advance notice to OVEN PRODUCTIONS

45 and COMING OUT

By Joe Rose

My story might help relieve some of the horrendous trauma my good brothers and sisters experience and face with what seems to be "no hope." I have to believe there are many of our actual or potential readers who are married and who have children, and who also live in fear and despair over their honest sexual preference for a same-sex love relationship.

In the beginning eventual departure from home wasn't ever considered. I traveled a bit so I used the gay press to seek out "friends" in every port.

Almost simultaneously my bad marriage began to become an impossible one. All of the children knew of the poor relationship between their parents, and I am sure they suffered from it.

Ultimately, I went to a priest.

For further information call: Evelyn Hayes: 791-0878, or June Adams: 321-0692.

Advance tickets may be purchased at: Coventry Books, Woman Space, Rape Crisis, Center, and Tish's Shoe Repair Shop.

(Special prices for tickets also include $3.50 for groups per person and $10.00 per person con-, tributing.)

married 22 years and the father of 9 children

children

about my homosexuality. The first one to confront me was my oldest daughter. She quickly assured me it made no difference. Within days of that event I was able to determine that all nine children were aware of my situation. They all also knew that their mother had treated me very shabbily over the years and that I had always shown my love for

them.

With but one brief period of

only place where the judge showed any real concern. The four kids wanted to live with me and my lover; all nine had signed a petition to that effect. The judge would have granted me custody immediately except for the fact he wanted to be sure my lifestyle was not going to rub off on the kids.

I won a complete victory in the testing and the kids have been very happy with us. They do not see their mother very of ten even though we live less

in their eyes. Most of all, don't through and you'll end up a hero think they will turn away from you because they find out you and you'll feel yourself one are gay; treat them with love, lucky person when you realize you can be yourself sexually and still retain your children's love and respect.

Some may have good marriages, This was about one year after time involving my second than 9 miles away. The children wrong people like Anita Bryant

straddle the fence, and play both games, hetero at home and gay on the road. Mine ard countless others are stories of. bad marriages, children; and horrifying experiences of seeing one's mental health deteriorate, because the paternal instinct holds one "home with the kids" while their very soul lashes out for the love we all need. I do not mean to imply no one can suvive without love: what I am saying is that remaining in a loveless marriage just for the sake of the kids need not be one's fate. This cold even cause later quilt feelings in the children.

Mine is a story of discovering myself to be gay at the age of 45 when I had been married 22 years and was father of nine children. To say that I woke up one morning and discovered myself to be gay despite being married would not be a fair statement by far. However, it is very true that the only awareness of my inner feelings that I ever had was one of simply admiring certain types of men as idols and examples of masculinity in body structure. Now that I've been "out since 1971, I can look back and tie little threads together all the way to puberty. None of these threads indicate there was ever anyting to warn me of the eventual outcome of my marriage and confrontation with my real self.

How did it happen? It may have come about in various ways if my new awareness was God's will. The vehicle given me for my new journey was frequent travel to New York City where exposure to bookstores, pictures, and eventually to movies stirred my very soul to come to grips with the total situation.

my new awareness. The priest was already a physical idol of mine as well as being a known liberal in his thinking. He was very helpful during the trauma that ended its first phase 2 years later when I left home on December 26, 1974. In that period, I counselled with that priest as well as an openly gay priest that I contacted after some publicity got his picture in the Akron newspaper. A psychiatrist came into the picture when "I got caught" by the now ex-wife. Relatively serene pictures that I had sent away to be developed got sent to the address on my personal checks rather than the address in the note accompanying the check that I sent along to the developer. To make a long story short, the priests and psychiatrist all helped me realize I was hurting the kids more by staying home than if I left. A quick well-planned depar-

ture was better than an announcement in advance. It took a lot of depressing days of thought to reach the point mentally that allowed me to move forward. There was much crying and begging by the wife not to leave, once she realized what was geing on that herrible day after Christmas. God gave me the strength to go through with it. I only remember her tears and my smallest girl's tears. Mercifully I did not have to confront anyone else during the physical process of moving to an apartment which I had leased six weeks earlier.

After the smoke cleared, the wife cried less and the children seemed to be surviving as the doctor had assured me they would. Left at home were six children aged 18 down to 9.

I learned several months later that the wife had told the older

daughter, there has been no waivering in their love. They rose to even greater heights when it became necessary for the four minor children still at home in April, 1977 to seek refuge from their tyrant and vindictive mother.

offered my home to the children. Even though I had a lover, I The ex-wife contested my custody suit but didn't want the. children back either. Her game plan was to make me miserable and to hang onto her alimony as was made known by her atlong as possible. My sexuality torney to my attorney and ultimately the judge. Not once did anyone in the court arena imply that I was a second class citizen with no human rights, ala-Anita Bryant. The ex-wife and I, as well as the four children were given court-ordered psychological tests. This was the

are all doing well in school, do their chores at home, and seem very well-adjusted. Their friends visit the home, stay over, obviously knowing the fact that two men live together in the house. That's hard to hide. My older children all visit regularly been most welcome in their and my lover and I have always homes.

It's not easy to have four teenage kids at my age of 53, to say the least as a single parent. It's obviously trying for gay want to say to everyone who lovers in the same house, but I manages to read this far-don't stay in a bad marriage if you are financially and mentally able to get out. Your children will do very well and if you have to take them by default as I had to, or get them through legal pursuit, your love for them will shine

I thought that I might share can help one person through a this experience with you. If you similar trauma, it's worth the time I took to write this. I feel it's also my way of proving how and my ex-wife are! We must all keep those who need and will reality without fear of God's accept help, to face their sexual vengence, or loss of their children's love.

I still must "work" in the closet. I have a good job which in helping me to finance my obviously is a basic ingredient "escape" and to establish a second home. Loss of the job would hurt my children most, not me. Some day I'll be able to speak out in public and not have "friends," only a homophobic fear for my job. I do not fear reaction that would cause my loss of the job which allows me to raise these children.

to let my co-workers and bosses My ultimate goal is to be able know what I am and force them to admit that I'm just as "Normal" as they are! We all have a lot of educating to do.

Joel A. Brown EAssociates "Ohio's finest theatrical ageny"

*handling the very best in musical groups

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